Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
