We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
