Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
