Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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