I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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