omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
