Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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