.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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