apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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