i don't like sucking hair
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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