Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i now understand why vodka
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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