I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
