I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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