I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize