if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
