we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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