I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
