Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
