he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
