He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
