why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
