Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
