Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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