In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
