No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
