You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
