"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
