apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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