i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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