If i come over, it means nothing
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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