Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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