when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
