I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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