Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize