I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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