hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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