I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
