She's JV to your varsity
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
