redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
