I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize