I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
