oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
