No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
