Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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