can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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