she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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