she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
