Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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