u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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