Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
