Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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