just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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