dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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