I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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