I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
