to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
