They should really pass out barf bags in church
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
