it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
