Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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