3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
