I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
