His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
